One of the very first questions I ask when meeting with a couple during a Pre-Marital Coaching session, is if they really know each other. Most often they both laugh and tell me, “Of course. We’re getting married!”
But, the truth is, as much as you may know about the one you’re about to say, “I do” to, chances are you’re missing the one thing that can either make or break your new marriage, which is the expectations you both have going into it.
Everyone enters a new marriage thinking they know how it will all play out, from who pays the bills to who ends up mowing the lawn every week. And the truth is, their spouse-to-be is most likely not on the same page.
Expectations come from our different experiences growing up. For example, if you lived in a home with both parents, you were probably used to each of them sharing household responsibilities as opposed to a one-parent home where either mom or dad ran the entire show.
And the reality is, the expectations we bring into marriage go deeper than “who does what".
It’s also how your family chose to celebrate holidays and traditions, whether or not you attended church, how often you went out for dinner, and even if you let the dog sleep in bed with you!
So, what’s the best way to compare your expectations with those of your Fiancé?
Have a deep conversation about how each of you see your marriage going forward. There will be differences, but, now is your chance to learn to appreciate one another’s view and learn how to leverage compromise.
Have you had a discussion about expectations with your fiancé? How did it go? In what areas did you decide to compromise?
To find out more on how to leverage your expectations and to gain the tools you need to getting started on the right foot in your new marriage through Pre-Marital Coaching, click here.