How to Change Him

How to get him to change

We all know opposites attract. And if you’re in a relationship where the 2 of you couldn’t be more different, you know this all too well. In fact, it could have been what ignited that “spark” between you in the first place.

Looking back when my husband and I were first dating, I remember how completely different we were especially on the weekends. 

While I was running around the entire time doing errands, he would stay behind to work on the yard, finish a home project or chill watching a movie. I found it so refreshing he was such a homebody.

A few years later, I began to work from home and when the weekend hit, I was so ready to get out of the house for a little change of scenery. I of course assumed my husband would tag along,especially to have dinner with friends or attend a family Birthday party, but by this time, he was more comfortable being at home than ever. After a while of flying solo, I stayed home too hoping I’d be able to change him. He never did.

What was once so refreshing in the beginning of our relationship all of the sudden got old, and I was annoyed.

I began to resent him, making sure he knew how much I was missing, and eventually became the nag I said I’d never be.

And, not too long after I became social again, it hit me. 

It wasn’t my husband who needed to change, it was me.

Because the moment I stopped nagging him about going somewhere and trying to make him feel guilty, everything changed.

He started to feel left out, even saying how much he missed me. And although there are times he still prefers a movie marathon over a night on the town, spending time together has been better balanced these days. And the best part? The resentment is gone!

You don’t need me to tell you conflict and disagreements are inevitable in every relationship. Iwat’s how we react to them that decides how or if it gets resolved!

You CAN’T change him. So, here’s my challenge to you.

Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you during your next disagreement, react in an unexpected, positive way, and watch as that one decision improves the health of your relationship.

How do you handle conflict in your own relationship? What steps work for you to create a positive outcome?