One of the perks of being an Officiant is experiencing my couple’s excitement as they share the details of their upcoming wedding. There’s smiles all around and you can feel a real energy in the room.
But most of the time that energy turns to silence when I ask if they plan to write their own vows. And, I’ve realized over the years it’s not that they don’t want to write them, it’s they don’t know how to write them.
Expressing the love you have for your spouse-to-be through words is one of the most beautiful things you can share during your ceremony, and when done right can be written in less time than you might think. Today, I’m going to share the 3 simple steps to writing your own wedding vows.
Step #1- Follow Their Lead
Find out what other couples are doing by reviewing vow examples on Pinterest and popular wedding websites like The Knot and Wedding Wire.
Reading vows others have used can help the two of you decide the overall tone or the “feel” of your vows. Do you want them to be romantic and heartfelt, or lighthearted and fun? Find a style that best compliments your personalities together.
Step #2- Define That “Moment”
While there may be many reasons you love your spouse-to-be, there’s usually one defining moment in a couple’s relationship that clearly stands out, and that’s when they realized they were falling in love. There’s a story in that “moment”, and it’s worth sharing with the world.
STEP #3- Make a Promise or Two
Vows are really promises. What do you promise to “do” or to “be” for your spouse in your marriage journey? What assurances about your relationship do you want them to have from you? Be creative as you want to be here and don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through. This is the part of the ceremony where your words will make the biggest impact!
It really is that simple!
Want a few other tips to make your vows sparkle and shine on your big day?
Vows don’t have to be drawn out to be memorable. Try limiting your vows to 2 to 3 minutes maximum to keep your bride or groom and guests engaged.
Read your vows aloud a few times to get comfortable with the words so they flow more naturally.
And lastly, have fun!
Some might say not to use cliche’s and to keep things on the serious side, but I don’t necessarily agree.
The ultimate goal when writing your vows is to be authentic; to be you! If you’re more of a free spirit with a fun, laid back personality, let that show through in the words you use.
So what do you think? Are you ready to take the leap and write your own wedding vows? If not, what’s holding you back from doing so? Share your thoughts below and let’s get the conversation started!