You’ve planned your wedding to a tee. You have the perfect venue, perfect flowers, most decadent cake and you’ve said yes to the dress. You’ve checked everything off your list and figure all the organizing is done, right?
It’s no wonder most Brides find themselves overwhelmed when planning a wedding. Looking back, I’m not sure how I did it!
All those details! The invites, the perfect dress, catering options, finding a venue to fit your guest list, choosing an Officiant; your to-do list never ends. And then there’s the average wedding price tag of $33,000 (and growing), it’s no wonder many couples choose to run away and elope!
But maybe eloping isn’t your style.
Have you ever wondered why many marriages fail?
You’re probably thinking age, money and infidelity are at the top of the list. While those issues do play a part, it goes much deeper than that, and it actually happens before couples say, “I Do”.
All couples enter marriage with expectations, and many times those expectations are the polar opposite of their spouse-to-be!
So why is that?
It’s because our expectations have much to do with the environment we were raised in; gender roles being a huge influence. And even though you would think these differences would be clear before getting married, it usually comes to light after crossing the threshold.
And it’s these expectations that create the lies we believe about marriage. Today, it’s my job to debunk them.
It might surprise you the biggest reason couples elope today has nothing to do with the overwhelm in planning or lack of money; but instead has everything to do with parents that just can’t or won’t get along.
I experienced this first hand when my soon-to-be mother-in-law and stepmom continuously locked horns from the moment we began planning to the moment we were pronounced husband and wife.
There are 2 words to keep in mind when planning your wedding.
So, what does that mean?
Years ago, there were things brides would do for no better reason than the fact that it was always done that way. For example, father’s always gave away the bride, the minister would always say, “Is there anyone here who feels this couple should not be joined as husband and wife?” and wedding rehearsals were always the night before the wedding.
Today, it’s all about what makes sense, or what the couple wants for their day, as it should be!
Banket, pronounced bon-ket, is a long, skinny flaky pastry filled with a delicious almond sugar paste. It’s quite difficult to make, but very easy to eat!
You would think that after making this delicacy for the past 30 years, I’d be a pro.
The first batch I make each year is almost always “destroyed”; with almond paste seeping out of the crust like active volcano lava. And when I thought about the reasons why this was happening, I knew I had to share what baking a pastry taught me about marriage.
So, you're planning your wedding, and it just hit you. You have no idea who's going to make it official!
You don't want to get married at the courthouse, but you don't belong to a Church. Now what?
Then a friend offers to officiate for you. And, It seems like a great idea, right? After all, they know you best, who better to help you say, "I Do?"
This isn't to say every wedding where a friend officiates is a disaster, but, successful ceremonies are very few and far between.
So, before you trade your BFF's invitation for a microphone, consider the 4 reasons why your friend shouldn't officiate for you.
1. They're too close
Because you're so close, there's a pretty good chance they'll be emotional. If they start to "lose it" and get choked up, or even worse, start crying, you'll probably do the same.
2. They'll get stage fright
It happens. The music stops, the Bride gets to the altar, and then it's "Deer in the headlights". They've forgotten ever word. They open their mouth and nothing comes out.
3. They have absolutely no idea what they're doing
There are many parts to a wedding ceremony and there must be a flow from one transition to the next. Just because they've watched hundreds of weddings on TV or attended a few in person doesn't guarantee they'd be a good fit. THere's so much more to officiating a wedding than reading from a script.
A professional Wedding Officiant performs ceremonies regularly. It's their specialty. It's how they pay the bills.
Officiants wear many hats. They consult and coach the Bride and Groom, they write the ceremony (sometimes from scratch), they sign and file the marriage license, and in many cases, direct the wedding rehearsal.
Wedding Officiants are passionate about what they do. They help put a little more love in the world, one wedding at a time.
Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Make it memorable in a "good" way. Let a professional take the worry out of saying "I Do!"