When I got married years ago, I thought we had everything figured out. We were in love, we had fun together, and we talked all the time. What else did we need, right? But as time went on, it became painfully clear: we weren’t ready.

What I didn’t know about my partner—or marriage in general—ultimately led to a breakup that could’ve been avoided. And looking back, skipping premarital counseling was one of the biggest mistakes we made.

The truth is, love isn’t enough to build a solid marriage. There are some conversations you need to have before you walk down the aisle. So, let’s talk about the things couples think they know but often don’t—and how premarital counseling can make all the difference.

The Reality Check: What You Think vs. What’s True

1. Communication

• What You Think: “We’re great at talking—we’ve got this.”

• The Reality: Talking doesn’t always mean listening. Do you know how your partner handles stress? How they argue? How they expect you to show up for them emotionally? Good communication is a skill—one most couples don’t learn until it’s too late.

2. Money

• What You Think: “We’re on the same page about money.”

• The Reality: Have you talked about debt? Have you been honest about your spending habits or financial goals? If not, buckle up, because money is one of the top reasons couples argue.

3. Families

• What You Think: “We both love each other’s families, so no problem there.”

• The Reality: Families come with expectations, boundaries, and holiday traditions that can stir up conflict if you’re not on the same page. Trust me—this matters.

4. Intimacy

• What You Think: “We have amazing chemistry, so we’re good.”

• The Reality: Life happens. Stress, kids, work, and even your own personal growth can impact intimacy. Talking openly about expectations now can save you a lot of frustration later.

5. Conflict

• What You Think: “We don’t fight much, so we’re fine.”

• The Reality: You will argue. Everyone does. The question is: do you know how to fight fair, reach a resolution and come out stronger on the other side?

6. Life Goals

• What You Think: “We want the same things in life.”

• The Reality: Do you, though? What happens if one of you gets a big career opportunity, or you disagree about kids? Life has a way of testing those unspoken assumptions.

Why Premarital Counseling is a Game-Changer

Premarital counseling isn’t about pointing out flaws in your relationship. It’s about making sure you’re prepared for the reality of marriage—not just the Instagram-worthy moments. Counseling gives you tools to:

• Communicate better (and actually hear each other).

• Tackle tough topics like money and family.

• Align your goals and dreams.

• Handle conflict like a team.

It’s the kind of prep work that turns “just married” into happily married.

Why I Wish I Had Done This

Skipping premarital counseling was one of the biggest regrets of my first marriage. We didn’t have the tools we needed, and when things got hard, we fell apart. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

If I could go back, I’d do the hard work upfront. I’d ask the awkward questions, talk about the stuff that made me uncomfortable, and learn how to show up for my partner in ways that actually mattered.

Marriage isn’t about knowing everything upfront—it’s about being prepared to grow together. And that’s exactly what premarital counseling can do for you.

So, if you’re ready to build a relationship that’s not just strong but unshakable, let’s talk. Premarital counseling isn’t just a step—it’s the foundation your future deserves.

To learn more about PreMarital Counseling and how you can start today, click here.